May 20th, 2010
My client showed up for her session one day, complaining that she had no clean clothes. Not our usual topic for coaching, yet an all important one! We spent the entire session setting up a plan to help her to manage her wardrobe easily and efficiently, thus allowing her to focus on more important things – like writing papers and studying for tests.
One of the reasons that she put off doing her laundry was because she hated lugging the heavy basket of dirty clothes up the stairs to the third floor. She quickly figured out that doing laundry more frequently definitely meant a lighter basket to carry up the stairs! Based on the size of her wardrobe, she decided that washing clothes once a week would probably suffice.
Not being a total stranger to the laundry room, she had also observed that on Monday afternoons it was usually empty. This time slot was immediately designated “Laundry” in her planner.
What else would she need? A checklist was created: coins, laundry detergent, fabric softener. She agreed to check these things each week while making her weekly grocery shopping list. (Turned out that Grocery Shopping took up another coaching session. )
Once the basic tasks of daily living are running smoothly, then it’s easier for students to focus on academics. Keeping up with class work is certainly an important priority for college students, but for those with weak Executive Functions, “first the laundry”.
One of my first goals in working with college students with ADD is helping them create a system to help them organize their lives. For most, their primary tool is a planner; preferably, one with
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May 18th, 2010
Imagine an 82′ foot sailboat setting out from port on a beautiful, brisk summer day. Directed by their Captain, the crew pull up the anchor, begin to hoist the sails and then continually adjust them to take full advantage of the wind. The galley is stocked with food and water, the course has been charted, and all lines have been checked and rechecked. The vessel moves along with grace and efficiency towards its final destination.
But somewhere along the way, the Captain falls overboard! Now, with no one to steer the way, the crew become scattered: the sails begin to flap and the boat falls off course, ultimately stalling in the middle of the ocean, at the mercy of wind and tide.
The Executive Functions are a set of processes that act very much like the Captain of a ship (others compare them to the conductor of an orchestra). The point is, they are the skills that help us manage ourselves and our resources in order to navigate through daily life (or, to make beautiful music!). They are the “co-ordinators of action” that keep our lives running smoothly and on course.
The main Executive Functions include:
- Planning/Organization
- Working Memory
- Inhibition
- Self-Monitoring
- Emotional Control
- Organization of Material
- Shift
- Initiation
- Time Mangagement
- Prioritizing
Interestingly, even people without ADD can have weaknesses in their Executive Functions. The good news is that weak Executive Functions can be strengthened by patience, understanding, and consistent coaching, whether by parents, teachers, or specially trained ADHD coaches.
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May 6th, 2010
Just got back from a terrific weekend in Chicago where I attended the ADHD Coaches Organization annual conference. Saw a number of familiar faces, met several new ones, and was able to connect many faces-to-the-voices I’ve heard over the phone these past few months. A truly inspiring group!
For more information about this amazing organization, log on to www.adhdcoaches.org. You will find articles, membership benefits, and a directory of ADHD Coaches.
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January 7th, 2010
A man called a travel agent one morning and said, “Help! I need to find the quickest way to Cleveland, Ohio!” Understandably, the travel agent asked, “Fine – but where are you?” to which the man replied, “I have no idea”. ”Well then”, said the agent,”I’m afraid I can’t help you reach your destination.”
Moral of the story?
It’s hard – if not impossible – to get where we want to go if we don’t know where we are.
January is traditionally the time for resolutions and goal setting – but ever wonder why people seldom stick with their resolutions or accomplish their goals? Could it be that they make them based on mis-information? Could it be that they really don’t know their present territory well enough to set realistic new goals?
I decided to try something different this year. Instead of goals and resolutions, I set aside some quiet time and made a list of beliefs: those powerful messages that often lurk just below our radar screen and silently dictate how we see the world and live our lives. Was I ever SHOCKED by what I discovered! Turns out, I have more pessimistic thoughts about myself and my life than I ever realized, i.e I could never do that at my age. Huh??
This exercise reminded me of a client who saw herself as very disorganized. She proceeded to live her life as a disorganized person and felt bad about herself as a result. During one of our coaching sessions, I asked her if she was disorganized ALL the time? Was there ever a time when she WAS organized? As she thought about it, she realized that she was actually very organized in many areas of her life! And she began to notice where she tended to be disorganized and actually came up with a reason why. Shifting that “reason” became an authentic goal for her. She now sees herself as an organized person who’s sometimes disorganized – an entirely different message, with different possibilities!
I’m now working on my list of negative beliefs and can see for myself that some are not always true and others are so old, they’re no longer relevant!
As I chip away at each one, the “next step” appears as if by magic. I think it’s going to be a really good year………
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